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I might not be the best CLT in my batch. But i try my best to be the best.
I might not be the best CLT in NCDCC. But i try and do my best in everything that has been given to me.
I might not be the best CLT to my cadets. But i try to be the CLT my cadets would want.

I have a different definition of what a CLT should be. I want to be a friend. A mentor. A brother. A pillar of strength. A inspiration.

I have my wrong doings. I have my short falls. I have my flaws. I have my helpless moments.
But i'm new to all this. I don't know what exactly to do at certain points of time. I'm new to all of this. I need guidance, yes. So if i did something you thought i shouldn't have done, point it out to me. Hear me out. Hear my thoughts. I'm not a cadet listening aimlessly to instructions. I'm a CLT. i'm part of the organisation. Hear me out, see things as i see it.

I can't improve if all i ever hear from you is i'm dissapointed, go home and reflect but you don't point out what i did wrong. I don't learn anything in the end. All i ever learn is that i'm such a bad CLT.

I don't want to disappoint anyone, i'm only human. Theres only so much i can achieve. This is only my 4th month into service. You can't expect me to lead with excellence and perfection. You can't possibly just think of me as incapable and uneffective. God knows how much i try to lead with every once and every bit on my essence.

You only went for your 2nd unit training. But this is my 11th Unit training. I've seen and felt the soul behind my messy unit and i'm still trying to figure out what to do. I know more of this unit then you do and you should hear me out, hear my thoughts and not force down your opinion of what kind of a CLT i should be.

I'm trying my best. Doing my best. Judge me based on what i have done for my cadets and not what i have yet to do. It isn't fair.

The best of intentions
I lay at your feet
And I need you to see past the worst part of me
I'm tired of taking my aim
When I keep on missing
There's gotta be a better way


I'm trying. I'm struggling, I'm trying to float by. Someone please save me. Someone please help me. Someone.