Wednesday 30 January 2013

Stagnant.

Its been a long time since i talked to you. its been a long time and i miss you so bad. everyday without fail i would definitely think about you and the friendship we had before. I have been thinking. What really happened?

I finally found the answer. A lack of understanding. I hope you are reading this, because i am really really sorry for whatever i've done. I know my sorry doesn't change a thing and will not make you feel better but i'm sorry.  I take full blame and responsibility of whatever has happened. Its been such a lonely journey without you. I have my friends and girlfriend, yes they do fill up a large portion of me and without them, i would be gone but then again, not having you is almost equivalent to not having them in my life.

I still read all your letters and notes because every letter and word hangs onto me so very dearly. I don't know how to explain everything that has been happening. But i do know what i'm feeling. Lost, agonized, hurt, sorrow and many more.

I remember all the times we had together. studying together. late night talks. going out together for no reason. stupid movie dates. awkward moments. our arguments. This friendship is something that i should be proud of. and yes i am proud of this friendship, proud that i have a strong bestfriend like you.

However as i am writing this post, i am writing it with a heart heavy with sadness.

A thousand apologies.  

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